Banning kids from social media isn’t the way – it’s the over 60s who should get off the internet | Miski Omar

COcomelon scale shockwaves have swept through the alpha gen community and audible gasps can be heard from the younger generation of Zs. Digital natives – individuals who grew up in a world where technology and social media were as pervasive as air – have been informed that the NSW government is proposing a ban on social media for users under 16, limiting access to apps such as Tiktok and Instagram.

This ban, endorsed by Anthony Albanese, is supported by the World Health Organization’s statement that “brainrot” is the biggest health problem facing children aged 10 to 16 since Covid, with a 45% increase in diagnoses since 2019. In young people, we’re told, it can manifest as an inability to maintain focus, talking to adults, and general self-concept issues.

“It can be devastating,” Albanese said of the effects of social media on faith. “I don’t look at the comments on my social media because, if I did, I’d have a hard time getting out of the house in the morning. People will say things anonymously that are horrible.”

Maybe it’s time to start watching Albo comments, and not just waiting for election polls.

He’s right, though: social media really is terrible for your mental health — and your brain. But its effects are not only endemic to young adults and children. In fact, a 2023 study by the European Center for Disease Prevention and Control (ECDC) found that exposure to brain misinformation has eclipsed dementia and Alzheimer’s as the most prevalent condition among individuals aged 60-95.

So do we have the right to ban under 16s from social media? Instead, I propose a more revolutionary idea: ban seniors over 60.

Of course, no age group is immune to the dangers of social media, but I’m a firm believer that grandparents should have green thumbs, not movers. Let’s take a look at the brain symptoms affecting these retirees.

Misinformation

The first symptom, which I would call misinformation, is a significant challenge for older generations in our increasingly digital world. Just the other week, my aunt showed me a picture of Oprah opening a hospital in Somalia after her recent marriage to a Somali politician. The photo was created by AI – but the image looked real to her.

For me, the gift was the eight fingers on Oprah’s left hand. However, for my geriatric aunt and her peers, the comments flooded with “Pray for a speedy recovery” and “Come to the hospital you opened.”

The Internet, designed to be a source of knowledge, becomes a breeding ground for mistaken beliefs. Would banning non-natives help reduce the risk? We can only hope.

Overshareiosis

Hypersciareiosis manifests itself in three stages, with symptoms appearing gradually until all are evident. The initial symptom is excessive sharing of thoughts and feelings. Every meal, every little ailment and every opinion is broadcast all over their social network.

On social media, older generations use the comment section as their personal DM. Overshareiosis damages the part of the brain responsible for understanding that comments are publicly available.

Dubbed “super-changers,” sufferers of the third symptom of hypershariosis turn the seniors’ page into cluttered bulletin boards filled with dodgy links and dodgy “health hacks.” Scanning through your grandmother’s Facebook for photos from your graduation becomes a task of analyzing 42 methods of interpreting the color of urine and an unconventional “cure” involving the feathers of an ibis.

Discernemia

Another worrisome condition affecting our seniors is dyscernemia, which manifests as an inability to distinguish and verify information on the Internet. Long-time users, unfamiliar with the mechanics of algorithmic filtering and the profit motives behind social media models, often take the frequency of posts as proof of their veracity.

So we end up with entire nursing homes discussing the alleged 70% reptilian DNA of the royal family based on a post with 100,000 likes showing Prince Charles’ alleged forked tongue. RIP Princess Diana, you were “The People’s Princess”, because “the people” are hot-blooded.

This failure to navigate the digital landscape leaves seniors vulnerable to political propaganda and conspiracy theories. Their timelines, filled with like-minded posts, create echo chambers that distort reality.

Meanwhile, younger generations, aware of how their data is being used to manipulate their resources, remain skeptical and discerning.

Virtual shout out

Hey grandma, ease into CAPS. I am sensitive.

In light of the challenges posed by misinformation, oversharing, and the age gap, enforcing a social media ban on individuals over 60 appears as a possible solution to mitigating the risks of harm and exploitation online.

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(If you clicked on this link, you should probably be banned from the internet.)

• Miski Omar is a speech pathologist, writer and filmmaker from Sydney. Watch her episode of the ABC iView series Westerners on YouTube